Read Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) By Eve Rodsky
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Ebook About A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK "A hands-on, real talk guide for navigating the hot-button issues that so many families struggle with."--Reese Witherspoon Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way...It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was... underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up chores and responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner. "Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space -- as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.Book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) Review :
To each mad man his own mania, to each lunatic her own lunacy. I kept waiting for the author to get past the privileged urban female "hear me roar" nonsense. About one third of the way into the book she starts to let up. The author repeatedly identifies the wives she is reaching out to are victims of their own self inflicted wounds, and yet blames the husband for the pain of the wound. The book is incredibly singular in perspective (urban setting) and one sided (female), if you can get past this and read to the end, the game she created seems promising if you live the urban lifestyle where you work a single job, hire everything out that takes skilled labor, and only have mundane chores at home as a daily task and both spouses are relatively emotionally healthy. It is a quick read. I'm not a Reese Witherspoon book club member. I'm a working mother and wife (I found Fair Play through a recent finance podcast). Two years ago I hit a similar breaking point to the author's "blueberry meltdown." After 13.5 years of marriage, to a man willing to share the work, I woke up and realized he was treating me like a doormat - I'll spare you the details.I tried and tried strategies to improve my situation. After a few failed mini-efforts (including trading lives for a week to promote empathy), we finally landed on a system that is extremely similar to the cards recommended in Fair Play (we use assignable to-do lists in the Wunderlist App). Every strategy in the Fair Play system is part of our own. We’ve needed it all — the dredging of work from the shadows to the light, the value setting, the ownership from conception to execution, the avoiding using your spouse as back-up for everything, and even the built-in time-off for self-development. We hit bumps. I worried what my in-laws thought — but we stayed the course.It worked, and we are better than ever (and, yes, that means more and better sex, too). The system freed us not only from the nit-picky day-to-day misery but also from the feeling we could never leave the house. We found free-time. My husband revels in the friendships and activities he can leave his family for, guilt-free. I traveled for 10 days of business last March (with manageable preparations for my “cards”), and all they missed were hugs.The first 100 or so pages of this book set the context for the issues women (largely) are facing. This is the context I lived. It's definitely a downer. I say this to say, that if you need a ‘why' to get yourself moving on this Fair Play plan, then read it. But if you can buy into the plan without it — SKIP it (for now). For husbands/back-up partners: It's hard to stare a problem like this in its face, and still have the energy to do the work. Do the work for your family. Do the work for your daughters (and sons). Do the work for yourself. There are so many issues in life that we can not control: This is one we can.Fair Play will lift women's spirits. Fair Play will make them feel loved. Fair Play will give them back their energy and joy — and they, in turn, will bring their true gifts to you and the world. It is truly one area where you can take a small step for a woman, and a giant leap for MAN- and WOMAN-KIND. (I’m only sorry I can not go back in time and take some cards for my mother.) For what it's worth, it's not men's fault. We are all working hard. Through discussion, we raise our shared-expectations. For some partners in a family it will feel like more work in total. Early in the process, old resentments can sometimes target the system, making things worse. But, if you can get to a place where both partners sincerely try, you will be busier AND happier. TODAY.If you choose to play, the time you spend on Fair Play tasks (the grind; emotional labor, etc.) will be what allows you, on your death bed, to look back and say, "I’m glad I was there for my family." 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